Rant: Respecs

As a professional, there’s nothing The Jackal hates more than rework, which is work coming back to him to be redone. Usually it’s because he screwed the wrong pooch or did it in a way his manager or the customer didn’t approve of. Because if you and a very exceptional poodle are breaking out the sled harnesses in July, you’re obviously doing it wrong. Especially if you’re having fun doing it.

But there’s a special category for what’s boringly called “rework”. And that’s called the “respec”. This is what a respec looks like.

The specification sheet clearly stated you needed a black lab, 4 cucumbers, a business of ferrets (preferably hobs but whatever works), and a bag of generic Twizzlers. It takes a while to find the proper dog, order suitable cucumbers, and herd the ferrets. The Twizzlers you steal from the break room when no one is looking. This takes all week. You do the photo shoot and send it off to the customer.

And then Monday at 4pm, your boss forwards you an email from the customer. You are the most terrible person on the planet. Everything is unusable. You need to redo the photo shoot with a yellow lab and 3 eggplants. But the ferrets and Twizzlers are fine.

— My Life, My Hell by The Jackal

“Respecs” makes The Jackal’s blood boil. It’s not his fault some fucking moron in Nebraska can’t find the pants on their head. But somehow it’s his responsibility to fix.